Yesterday, the hubby and I went out on the town – it was the first time we’d done anything alone since the baby was born. It was nearly 8 hours of just me and him and it was so much fun. We didn’t do anything spectacular, just perused the antique festival at the fair grounds, went to dinner and (GASP) went to the mall. Traffic was so crazy because it was the first nice day after everyone had been stranded indoors for 2 weeks following the snow storm. While I would normally find this to be a nuisance, it was a really great opportunity for us to chat. As Josh said, it was nice to have an adult conversation between us that didn’t involve the intricate bowel movements of a newborn and toddler.
While everyone seems to know it’s important to find time to spend with your spouse, few people actually comply. But it really is necessary in order to maintain a health marriage, especially after you have kids. Date night is an absolute must, and Josh and I were so overdue for one. Many people may not agree with me on this, but other than your relationship with God, your marriage is your first priority. Even with young children like we have that are pretty much fully dependent on us for their daily activities and needs, I believe that my relationship with Josh should be prioritized over my relationship with my boys. While the boys fall a very close second to Josh, they will one day be on their own, and Josh and I will have only each other again. Our family is not the family we envision if we’re not constantly focusing on making our marriage work in the best way it can.
Many couples go to marriage events during the Valentine’s holiday as a means of rekindling the flame and strengthening their relationship. This is a great opportunity – we did it too, after all – but why do this only once a year? We should be working every day to build a stronger and healthier marriage.
Josh and I have these goals, among others, for our marriage – while we haven’t accomplished everything on the list yet, we’re getting there:
- pray together
- snuggle time at least once a week (even if it’s just cuddling together and watching a movie at home)
- working for the betterment of our marriage through a book, Bible study, etc. on a regular basis
- date outing at least once a month – get a babysitter and hit the town!
- a weekend away 1-2 times a year
- show affection for each other regularly, both physically and verbally
- work to envision our marriage as a partnership: C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N
- sex once a week ( oh yeah, I wrote it for all to see…) – which will require planning – no spontaneity with a 4 month old and 3 year old!
I challenge every married couple to put a list together and constantly work to accomplish their goals. We’ve found that having kids this young makes it much harder to maintain the strength of our relationship without extra work. But we’re all in this!
So, what’s on your list?
Gaining Perspective - Day2Day 